Here we shall ask the question, "when does one writers self obsessive parody cease to be amusing and become simply tedious?"

Monday, 19 March 2012

Efficient packaging from Fresh Direct

I recently ordered a 'bunch' of groceries for delivery from Fresh Direct, the New York equivalent of Ocado in London. Over packaging is the norm here as everyone knows but this is a high end grocer with an emphasis on fresh, organic goods (the goods arrive in recycled boxes no less!) so I dared to think that they might have a sane packaging policy as well. Sadly no. That one extra plum tomato apparently just can't quite fit in with the other 5. Dito for the two lonely carrots sitting next to their more sociable brethren.

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Musings on mediocre air travel

Delta. To my knowledge not an airline of great renown, as evidenced by the fact that less than one in four seats on my incredibly cheap transatlantic flight are occupied. They have made an effort with the uniforms though; the entire crew dressed in black polo necks.

This swish retro look, that according to the Daily Mail 'never went out of fashion!' and according to the Guardian did go out of fashion but is now making a comeback (heaven help us), was somewhat offset by the largest and campest of our stewards who breezily reported 'sweating like a school boy in church' as he served me lunch. I liked his customer friendly version of the classic 'whore in church' phrase, substituting, as it does, the reference to female sexual and economic exploitation for an image of teenage guilt ridden masturbation. My appreciation clearly didn't go unnoticed as he quickly returned to surreptitiously top up my virgin mary with a free shot of vodka before smiling peculiarly and saying, "see! Treat me nice and I treat you nice". As he turned and presented his vast arse to my face another somewhat unpleasant image was thrust into my minds eye and my head started to spin. Just how nice could he treat me? And would it involve that great gluteal protuberance in any way?

I feel uncomfortably certain that New York has many more such thought provoking encounters in store for me.

Friday, 9 March 2012

Thomas Paine Quotes

Time makes more converts than reason - from the opening paragraph of Common Sense

Friday, 14 October 2011

Charlie Brooker Quotes

On reading Sky TV magazine while sitting on the toilet - "Visually inhaling crap at one and and rectally exhaling it from the other; my corporeal self simply a conduit for the elemental crapforce that binds the universe together"

On Jeremy Kyle - "Everytime I see him its as if someone has just walked over my grave."

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Quotes of the day

Proust (paraphrased): Classically beautiful women should be left to men with no imaginations.

Stendhal: A man can acquire anything in solitude except a character.

Portait of a Housing Bust

These aerial images of half finished developments are strangely beautiful, with a geometric symmetry that belies the state of human misery they represent.

Monday, 4 October 2010

Quotes i like

Alain de Botton in Essays in Love:

One of the ironies of love is that it is easiest to confidently seduce those we are least attracted to.


Silence with an unattractive person implies they are the boring one. Silence with an attractive one immediately renders it certain you are the tedious party.

I think Henry Kissenger said something similar about power.